School

Lately it has gotten harder and harder to work with Cayden. He is such a good baby and for the first month of having him with me he was happy being held and playing on his play mat all day. But now that he's getting older he gets bored easily. He wants to learn! I just don't have the time to stimulate him the way he needs it. He deserves so much more than I can give him at work. I'd been trying to ignore it because I love having him with me and don't want to think about him spending his days with someone else. But I keep getting frustrated when he cries all day and it makes my feel incredibly guilty. I just can't give what he wants and needs.

I'd looked into a liscensed home daycare facility near Allan's job that seemed great. It's structured ans the teacher is really nice and caring. Then my mom suggested looking into a Montessori school. Allan said he liked that idea too because it is well known and based on a certain theory so we'd know exactly what they would be doing with Cayden. We found an accredited school that takes infants at 10 weeks. I toured it today and it was incredible. I was blown away by the things they were teaching kids. One of the infant teachers played with Cayden for a few minutes and asked if I wanted to leave him there while I finished the tour and talked with the director. She managed to incorporate him into the activity she was doing with the other infants and toddlers. When I went into the director's office she turned the TV on and explained that each classroom has cameras so that parents can come to watch what their children are doing without disrupting the class. I watched as the teacher showed Cayden different colored blocks and had his full attention. It sounds so simple, but it's more than I can do with him when I'm at work. He smiled and laughed as she waved the blocks in front of his face. Unfortunately, the cameras aren't available by the internet, but it was nice to know that the director and the other staff can monitor the classes. When we went into the older children's classes it seemed like a joke. I could not believe the things those kids were learning so young! The director said that all of the kids are reading by age 4, most of them start around age 3. They also start teaching the kids Spanish and ASL around age 1. I can't get over it.

So I keep crying about it. Even when I was talking with the director about the school I began crying. It is so hard to imagine being without Cayden every day. What if he says his first word at school? Or takes his first steps? He should do those things with me and Allan! And I don't like thinking about someone else bonding with him as they feed him or change his diapers or put him down for naps. Or smiling at someone else when he wakes up from a nap. I can't stand it! But I have to do what's best for him, right? I have to keep reminding myself of that.

A long one...

I have a lot to get caught up on!!! I think the first big thing I missed was writing about our trip to Jacksonville to see our friends Megan and Patrick and their 5 month old son, Evan. Usually we head up there for the big FL/GA game and spend the weekend tailgating and showing our Gator spirit. This year was a little different, due to Cayden not being quite ready to tailgate. I spent game day with Cayden, Megan, and Evan, while Allan headed off to the game with Patrick and a bunch of other guys (and Ami, who I really missed spending the weekend with!). I had a really great relaxing day with Megan and the babies. We played with them all day, went to the park, watched the game, and dressed them up since it also happened to be Halloween. They were adorable! Evan was MUCH happier in his alligator costume than Cayden was in his monkey costume. It didn't help that I pulled his hair while putting the head piece on, or that it was way too big and he couldn't see. At one point he was crying and wouldn't stop and Evan started crying too. Megan and I didn't know what to do so we laughed at them and made a video. We did know what to do...but it was too cute to make it stop right away!

That was Cayden's first overnight trip, which was a big deal to me even without all the excitement of spending time with Megan, the Fl/Ga game, and playing with Cayden and Evan. I was worried about what it would be like, but Cayden did great! Except for not sleeping during the day. He was just too excited about meeting his first friend! He and Evan were really cute together. It is amazing how much of a difference 3 months can make. Evan can do so many things that Cayden doesn't seem like he will ever be able to do! But Evan did teach Cayden how to drool. Megan said it's a phase, but Cayden never did that before! It's not a bad thing at all. I find it absolutely adorable!

This past weekend was another big weekend for Cayden. Lee Lee came to see him Thursday and we went to The Pier in St. Pete on Friday. It was Cayden's first trip to see the Bay, well other than his walk on Bayshore. His first special trip. He slept through most of it, but he did like the huge fishtank inside the Pier and liked being outside. He also liked sitting in Vinoy Park and looking around. Friday night was Cayden's first time spending the night at Nonni and Grandpa's house. He slept from 11pm until 5am! I was shocked!!! I kept waking up expecting him to wake up too but he didn't. So I kept checking to make sure he was breathing and moving and then I went back to sleep. It was so nice to be able to get so much sleep (even though I kept waking up).

Saturday my mom threw Cayden a party. We dressed him up in a super cute outfit, which ended up being way too hot for him, but he was such a cute little man! For the most part he did really well. He was very happy to see his friend Evan again. I was nervous about him getting overstimulated by so many people being there, but he let everyone hold him who wanted to and he only cried a little because of his tummy ache and being overtired. And he threw up all over Mrs. Jacobowitz twice. Other than that he was a party man, just like his daddy! He got a bunch of great gifts, including the first toy that he has ever shown a preference for- his Gloworm! He LOVES it! We showed it to him when we got home and his face light up just like the Gloworm's face. Cayden followed the face with his eyes and got sad when it stopped glowing. I can't wait until he is older and can hug it. Maybe this will be the toy that has to go everywhere, like my blanky did, or like Trent's puppy. He is really really cute with the Gloworm. And I kinda think they look alike: big blue eyes, brown hair, an oversized head, and a round adorable face. Saturday night after the party we went to spend the night with Grandma Bear and Oma. Again, Cayden slept from about 10pm until 4 or 5am. I really got my hopes up that it would last...it didn't. He's back to sleeping 4 hours at a time. I guess I can't complain, though! It could be worse! Eventually he will sleep through the night every night!

Sunday Cayden and I went to Gainesville to see Eddie, Crystal, and Ella. Then my parents, Aunt Patty, Aunt Nina, Uncle Vince, and Lee Lee joined us and we went to the museum. Again, Cayden did great! He cried because of his belly ache again, but once he stopped hurting he had a great time. Aunt Nina showed him all the exhibits and he really liked the different lighting in each room. Then he got sleepy and Aunt Patty rocked him to sleep. We had so much fun. I wish we could see everyone more often.

Here's an update on likes and dislikes:

Likes: Fans, Gloworm, his pacifier (those are his 3 best friends!),diaper changes (nakedness), bathtime, being smiled at, being outside, being bounced or rocked, grabbing necklaces, interesting lights, watching his mobile, starting his day at 5am

Dislikes: Allan's whiskers, daytime naps, tummy aches, doo doo in the diaper, waking up hungry, losing his pacifier, Gloworm's face turning off, stationary fans, tummy time, not being able to see what he wants to look at, being held differently than he wants to be held, sometimes he gets angry when he gets fed from a bottle